What can I say today...I've been crying at the drop of a hat lately. I'm just so emotional!! I had a zit just pop up on my face, I've had abdominal cramps, no PMS or cravings and some light spotting (implantation bleeding???) I didn't dare raise my hopes, but I'm human and hope lives eternal... then this morning, this:
or should I say that AF arrived (I figured you wouldn't want to see a photo of THAT!) with a vengeance on Friday, 4-5 days early! This threw me for a loop! So I'm clearly upset and I still cry. I'm thinking that I must be really stressed over this entire medical and fertility situation. I guess its a good think I'm seeing Dr. Fertility (from now on Dr. F) on Tuesday, so perhaps we'll have some answers then. I'm also seeing Dr. Pain Management (Dr. P from now on) this week, so perhaps they will offer some advice on stress relief which would certainly aid with the pain as well.
On another note, Freddie went snowboarding with a buddy today and although I'm thrilled that he gets to feel the wind in his hair as he boards down the mountain, I wish that I could go too. It's gorgeous out there, sunny and cool. It sucks that I bought brand new ski equipment last year and then now I won't be able to use it! My entire life, we skied religiously each winter, but we weren't loaded so I had used equipment. I didn't mind, but when I finished highschool and was entering university, I saved and scrimped and bought brand new skis, bindings and poles (the boots were still used), then I got busy with work, working 3 jobs to pay for school and the skiing went out the window. After we got married, we went a few times and Freddie discovered boarding and LOVED it! He bought a board and boots and we decided that this was going to be a family activity again, so after more than 10 years, he talked me into splurging a bit and buying new equipment - or rather let's be honest, the weekend we got engaged I found pieces of plastic in our ski chalet, only to realize (on the hill) that the plastic was coming from my old boots which were literally falling apart and disintegrating and dropping plastic down the ski hill!!! Its kind of funny now, but freaky at the time when I realized what was happening. So I indulged and bought a new package of boots, bindings and skis - and now they sit in the garage. Oh how I wish I could take them out for a spin!!! Freddie is optimist that I'll be out there again, at least for a little bit - I hope he's right!
