I've been in a funk.

Hello dear friends,
Sorry to have 'disappeared' on you for a little bit, but I just didn't feel like writing.  In fact, I didn't even write in my personal journal since we went on vacation at the start of August - and I feel a little bit bad about that too.  I didn't really have a reason why I didn't write or blog - I just didn't feel like it.  For some reason, I needed to retreat into my own little cocoon and pay attention to ME for a little bit.  I'm sure that dealing with the loss of our friend and the constant morning sickness didn't make me very lively either.


I'm feeling better now - on all fronts, so I'm happy to say that I'm back!
A few weeks ago [as I've completed 14 weeks and am now in my 15th week of pregnancy], we had our 12 week scan and neuchtal testing.  I won't lie, I was a little bit apprehensive about this, as any mother would be - but Freddie and I had discussed all the possibilities and even before getting pregnant, we had decided that for us, any of our children would be coming home with us, regardless of their physical/mental/behavioural challenges.  Now, let me be clear: we are both hoping and praying for a happy and healthy baby, but we love this child no matter what.  So to make a long story short, the thickness of the vessels in the neck measured I think 0.3cm, and anything over 1cm might indicate a problem - so we got a clean bill of health!  I go back for further blood work for Downes and other potential problems, but I've been told that based on the good result above, they do not expect any negative results, so that is very optimistic.


It was a really great visit, as Freddie had our video camera and it was clear that our little munchkin was extremely active!  The baby kept flipping between its back and side, so it was hard to get a clear shot, but it was very exciting to see our little one moving around so much!!  I think we spent a good 40 minutes looking at our baby and listening to the heartbeat, and we loved every minute of it. It was so exciting to later show the video to our parents, for whom it was just a blob moving around and my MIL kept asking where the head was :-)


In terms of health, the morning sickness is easing up a little bit.  I don't think I've thrown up in about a week and a half.  I still get an episode or two of nasty nausea, but as long as I eat, it vanishes as quickly as it came - and yes, I'm still taking Diclectin, but I'm down to 4 pills from 5.  The bad part is that the back, neck and join pain is a lot worse.  I'm using the lidocaine cream, which sometimes works, depending on how bad the pain is, but I can't count on it.  I've had quite a few days where I'm immobile on the couch, whimpering and waiting for the day to end.  I've used the hot tub to ease the pain, but it only helps as long as I'm in the warm water.  The heating pad helps a bit too.


Today, I went back, for the first time in weeks, to my warm pool aquabics class.  There was a new instructor who was very good, but an exercise tyrant!  I went at my own pace, as due to my medical conditions there are some moves that I simply can't do [like jumping high up out of the water, or doing jumping jacks and doing a 360 degree rotation] and due to the pregnancy and the fact that this was my first time in weeks, I was taking it easy.  At one point, she came over, turned off her mike and asked if I was doing OK - I smiled [actually laughed almost] and said, "Yes, please don't worry - I just have some medical conditions so I can't do all the moves".  She seemed relieved, as I think she was genuinely concerned - after class I had hoped to chat with her a bit more, but a lady who works at the same place as I did before my medical leave was chatting with her, and frankly I didn't want this woman to know any of my business - oh well, I'm sure we'll chat again.


I'm home now, resting and feeling all the muscles in my body working.  I'll end things there as I don't want this post getting too long...I'll write again soon!


And following Mary's lead at Viva La Vida,  here are my stats for the week....


How far along:  14 weeks and 1 day


Weight gain/loss:  I eat a little bit more than usual [my doc recommended 500 calories more] and so since the start of my pregnancy I think I've gained approximately 8lbs - not bad.  I just wish I could control where on my body this weight comes - for me, its clearly in the tummy and boobs, but the thighs are growing too :-(


Maternity clothes:  I'm starting to wear some, especially pants.  Most of my pants don't zip up and the thighs feel a little bit tight.  A friend gave me the belly band, so I might get to wear some jeans again.  I also bought some used pregnancy clothes online, so I have some pants, jeans, capris and cords...and the thighs fit!


Stretch marks:  No stretch marks...yet.  I do use BioOil, but I don't use it twice a day as the instructions indicate.  I might use it every other day...I know this is TMI, but I am using it on my nipples as well which are getting dry and I can almost see the individual ducts forming, sexy, eh?
  
Sleep:  I didn't need naps up until last week, but now I feel the need to nap between 7-9pm.  I go to bed at 10:30pm with Freddie and I still wake up A LOT!  When I try to roll over, it hurts as my hips and legs often feel like they are asleep and I have trouble shifting the weight.  I usually get up to pee about once or twice a night, and in general the sleep is not good.  I do find that I stay in bed until about 9:30am and I still wake up tired [I know, I can hear you gasping!  Luckily, I don't have to be at work right now...]


Best moment since the last update:  Seeing our budding soccer star showing off some moves on the ultrasound.


Food cravings:  I seem to eat quite often, and when I eat, I'm already planning my next 'snack'.  I haven't had cravings, but I seem to want to cook some of the fall dishes that I associate with the season.  I've also been doing some cooking and freezing half, in anticipation of times when I'll be too sick to cook [and I'm sick of Freddie's frozen pizzas!]


Gender:  We have no plans on finding out, but at our last ultrasound the tech asked if we wanted to know as she was over the genitals, so I'm almost thinking that its a boy, as what else could she see at 12 weeks?  Although I kind of 'feel' that it might be a girl...so we'll see!


Belly button in or out?  Still in. 


Movement:  Lots of it - I just don't feel it yet.  I do feel some gas and stretching, so I think that it might be movement but I just don't know for sure...I'm sure I'll start feeling our baby soon.


What I miss: Feeling more energetic - I just feel like a huge slob.  Freddie has to remind me that I'm on medical leave for a reason AND I'm also pregnant.  I tend to 'forget' and lament that I don't have the same energy levels as before.


What I'm looking forward to:  Being a good size so that it is obvious I'm pregnant.  I'm at the point now where I can still conceal it and I just look pudgy.


Milestones:  Having yet another day with our baby!