A Ray of Sunshine in the Storm - aka Stylish Blogger Award

I am so humbled and surprised to receive the Stylish Blogger Award from Katharine at Grow Baby Grow!  Thank You Katharine - you've made my day!!   Please stop by Katharine's blog and check it out - Katharine is working on sharing a photo from each day and I love that!!   I mentioned in one of my comments that I'm so thankful for all of you who stop by my little piece of the internet and spend a few minutes reading.  I write this blog for me, for me to feel better, to have an outlet to vent and be completely honest - that's why I'm so humbled and thankful for YOU, for stopping by, for understanding my struggles and that something about my story resonates with you.  

Here are the rules that come with receiving this award....
1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you this award. DONE!
2. Share 7 things about yourself. BELOW
3. Award 15 recently discovered great bloggers.  I'M NEW TO THIS, SO ALL THE RECIPIENTS ARE NEW TO ME
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award!  DONE!

So here we go...



Seven things about me - wow, this isn't easy, but let me try:


1. I'm an only child. My mom raised me as a single mom [my dad was an alcoholic and they split when I was 1] and struggled every step of the way, so I'm not one of those spoiled only children.  That is also why I want my child(ren) to have siblings, so that they are never alone in the world.  I realize how important family is and I would like my children to have that closeness and familial ties even after Freddie and I are gone.


2.  I'm a "control freak", "Type A" personality, you know, always in charge, always right, always on the ball.  I'm also a Gemini so living with me can be hard at times.  I can be moody and emotional, meanwhile Freddie is fairly even-keeled and happy most of the time.  He definitely looks at the glass as half full, while I usually see it as half empty.  I'm thankful for Freddie and that he can balance out my neuroses on a daily basis!


3.  I, like Katharine, also hate talking on the phone.  I mean I'm not one of those women who spends hours on the phone with her girlfriends. I'd much rather meet a friend or email, but the phone, I'll pass.  I do own a cell phone, but only my immediate family has the number and I treat it as an emergency phone. One of my pet-peeves is seeing people walk down the street talking on the phone - look up, see what is around you and enjoy the moment!!


4.  I'm a homebody.  Maybe its because I'm an only child, but I don't mind spending time alone.  Now that I'm sick, most of my days are spent alone, except for the odd medical appointment or physio.  I like to read books, be creative in some ways - I don't need to have a large group of friends around me at all times.  Don't get me wrong, I do like socializing, but I don't itch to get out of the house every night.  


5.  I'd love to live somewhere warm with a palm tree in the front yard.  I'd love to see the water and hear the waves crash from my kitchen window. I'd love to be within walking distance of a beach. I'd love to enjoy sunshine for most of the year - but Freddie and I both have families here in town and we couldn't leave them behind. Who knows, maybe someday we'll move to a nice warm place... 


6.  I'm scared of being "ordinary".  I've always felt that I had a purpose in life, that I was going to make a difference, to improve the world somehow. Lately, I don't feel that drive anymore, but I'm more worried that my existence has no meaning.  I'm no longer at work on a daily basis, my contribution to society is minimal at best and my contribution at home is not much.  I fear that Freddie will view me as lazy and useless...and possibly move on, then I'll be ordinary and alone.  Yes, this is the irrational Gemini rearing its ugly head...


7.  Freddie and I met online.  It wasn't love at first sight. Our first date went OK.  The reason I agreed to a second date was that Freddie offered to pay for my coffee, which is more than any of my other 'blind dates' did.  I also remember assigning Freddie homework, as I did most of the talking, so his homework was to prepare some questions.  On our first dinner date, he took me to a family restaurant that was full of elderly couples, again not a great impression, but he did his homework, and when we left, he waited until I got into my car before he drove off - I knew there was something special about him!!


And now, for the fun part, passing on this award to other bloggers, not quite 15, but close...so here they are, in no particular order.  Please stop by and check out these stories.  Each and every one of these blogs inspires me to keep going, to do better and to keep trying:


1.  Anonymity at 

All You Knew Was Love... has a story similar to mine in so many areas.  We were both following our BBT online, both trying again and both unsuccessful, so far.

2.  Melissa at 

Amazing Mikayla Grace is an inspiration to me.  Melissa's journey with Mikayla is a great example of a mother's love and how to keep going through tough times.

3. Melissa at 

Amelia Grace Lorang is another inspiring baby loss mama with a tough journey.  Another inspiration to me - I admit I tear up each time I look at her slideshow and pics of Amelia.

4. Baby On Mind - I'm still reading some of the old posts here and sadly I have more in common with this blogger than most.  We're both the same age and it seems that I may need to also pursue some of the reproductive technologies... maybe reviewing these posts will help me figure out what is appropriate for us.

5.  Debby at 

FOR YOUR TEARS was the first site I found which sent me a tangible gift for our Angel.  I received a lovely handkerchief in the mail from Debby - it was something special for me to put into our Angel's memory box.  Thank you for all the hard work that you do Debby, I know that Freddie and I really appreciated it!!

6. Jamie at 

Forget-me-not, Oh Lord! has become a 'blogging-buddy'.  She's offered kind words and advice and lots of hugs. Thank you!!

7. Deni at Foxy Troxies gives me hope for the future.  Deni has an extensive furry-family and is now embarking on a new addition. 

8. Katharine at G

row Baby Grow, who gave me this award, also deserves it back!  Katharine has also had a really tough journey, so stop by and send her some hugs!!

9. Brittany at 

Lessons in Life and Light is also another 'blogging-buddy' from Facebook and the blog world. Brittany and I 'met' because of our shared loss of a baby - I hate having to meet her under these circumstances, but I'm glad that we met.  Brittany has offered lots of help, advice and laughs over the last few months.  Check out her blog for a lighthearted and happy view of life - I enjoy reading it!!  

10. Michele at My Life After Loss is yet another 

'blogging-buddy'.  Michele is brave enough to share her very difficult story online with all of us.  Michele's perseverance and courage to continue fighting for her family, while keeping to Catholic values, which I know is hard at times, is an inspiration to me.  If Michele can do it, I can too!  

11.  Katy at 

Pray Date: Where Angels' Mommies Meet posts a new verse from the Bible daily and allows all of us to share how those words touch us that day.  It's a great way for me to keep in touch with my prayers and its uncanny how some of the verses she chooses apply to my daily situation.  Thanks for doing this Katy!  

12.  Mama Fierce at 

My Yellow Brick Road Has Potholes also shares her story of multiple miscarriages.  Thank you for being brave enough to share your pain with us.  

13.  Jessica at Too Beautiful For Earth was kind enough to send me a lovely photo of a dove for our sweet baby.  The more items I can collect for our memory box, the more tangible our child seems. Thank you Jessica for the hard work that you do on our behalf - we appreciate it!!!

Congratulations everyone - you definitely help me get through the day!!!