We made it!

Hello Dear Friends,

Well, we made it!  Made it past Sammy's gestational age.  What I mean is, that we lost our sweet Sammy at 10 weeks and 2 days...and today I'm 10 weeks and THREE days!  Oddly, I'm not worried or freaking out and I honestly find that a little strange.  Part of that is because I don't quite feel 'connected' to this baby yet - I keep thinking of Sammy and my brain still can't really wrap around the fact that I'm carrying a second child.  The other reason perhaps is the fact that our clinic has been really good with reassuring us with extra ultrasounds, just to make sure that all is going well.

I think I mentioned that our second ultrasound was scheduled for Tuesday, which put us at 10 weeks and 1 day - we began miscarrying Sammy at 10 weeks and 1 day - so once again, the timing seemed to be chosen by God himself.  At the ultrasound, we met a new technician, a lovely, motherly lady who gave us a 'tour' of my entire reproductive organs.  This was really neat as she screened both my ovaries, checked the uterus and lining and explained everything along the way.

Then, we got to see our little bean, who was doing well.  The baby measured 10 weeks and 4 days, so it is measuring a few days larger.  The baby was 3.65 cm.  The heartbeat was 171, which was really great and strong.  She let us listen to the heartbeat for a little while and in the middle of this, our baby decided to roll over and almost do a little 'jig' as if s/he knew that s/he was being watched.  We saw the heart beating strongly and even saw fluid move between the umbilical cord.  In the photo on the right here, you can clearly see the head, which is no longer large and oval, the body is also very clear, as are the arms and legs - you can see one arm on top [almost like a little wing] and the arm on the bottom is pointing right at the wand so you only see a circle.  The legs are also little circles here.  She also showed us the shrinking yolk sac and the expanding amniotic sac.  I think that for the first time I smiled and enjoyed it, as opposed to having that 'deer caught in headlights' look.  So Freddie and I were thrilled that everything was right on track!  We go back in two weeks to do the neuchtal screening, where they measure the thickness of the skin behind the neck as an indicator of possible problems, but I'm not worried too much as Freddie and I had discussed all the possibilities and 'what if's' ...and for us, this baby is coming home no matter what.  Obviously we hope and pray for a happy and healthy baby [and I ask for your prayers as well], but should that not be the case, this is our child and we could never choose to terminate...never.

Today, I also had my appointment at the Pain Clinic and they were very happy to hear that we were in our 11th week of pregnancy.  Originally, they were going to try to reduce my oxycontin a little bit, but I've had more pain recently which I realize could simply be due to the pregnancy, as 'normal' women experience back and hip pain during this time.  So due to my pain levels, they decided to leave things alone for now, so  I'm still on the same meds, but also received a topical lidocaine cream which I can use on my sore joints upto 4 times daily.  Hopefully this will help me, as I often have joint pain...and lately sleeping is really tough.  For example, last night I had a good night as I only woke up about 7-10 times, as lately I wake up about 20 times a night.  I roll over, or rather try to and I wake up as it hurts so much. Or I'll wake up because my leg or hip have fallen asleep and I feel pins and needles, or I might just hurt in general...so I'll stare at the ceiling, check the clock and say a prayer asking the good Lord to help me get back to sleep...and I do for another 20-40 minutes and then we repeat again. 

Anyway, the other plan that my pain team has for me is to decrease the oxycontin level in December and starting January I am to have lidocaine effusions, which is basically a treatment where I would have a drug cocktail administered intravenously, which is supposedly helpful with joint pain and fibromyalgia pain - the bonus is that the lidocaine clears my system within 6-8 hours and will have very little effect on our baby.  I have full confidence in my team of doctors that they are weighing the risks and benefits of all these drugs carefully and that my doctor is a leader in her field  and not afraid to prescribe narcotics during pregnancy.  I've heard many horror stories from other women whose doctor refuses to prescribe anything during pregnancy and they suffer enormously!  In my case, I had gone to an epidemiologist to have my drug risk assessed and my pain doctor is up on the most recent research and her philosophy [which I've read similar trains of thought in research articles] is that the main thing is to keep the mother comfortable and pain free as much as possible, as the stress caused by chronic pain can be much more detrimental to the baby than the low level of drugs that I am on...so I am confident that all will be well and that we are in good hands.

I hope that all of you have a wonderful long weekend!